did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
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Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
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I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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