I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
