Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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