i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
