Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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