Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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