I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
