I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
