a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
