Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
