I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
