its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
