i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i think i have two assholes
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment