it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch