we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
