There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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