4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
