yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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