This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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