Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
