So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Randomize
