just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
