Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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