You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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