So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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