Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
