Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
