i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
