so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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