What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
