i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
