So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
