I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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