tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Drake has all the answers
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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