i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
