Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
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I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
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Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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