Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize