I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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