Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
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I stole a fireplace last night.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
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I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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