two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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