You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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