OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
