just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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