I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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