South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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