If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think I sprained my soul last night
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
