And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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