We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
