yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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