just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
