I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
