I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize