A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
third nipple confirmed
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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