I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
