ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
