VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
