Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
