Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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