Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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