i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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