"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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