dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
